| Date: | 2009-05-29 19:48 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  cranky | | Music: | "Further on up the road" by Johnny Cash |
I don't think enough people really know me. I mean, I guess it's no one's fault except my own, but I find it annoying to be classified by people who don't know me and that goes for friends, aquaintences, starngers, etc. It probably irks me more than it should, but I really can't stand it.
I guess that is all.
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| Date: | 2009-05-19 01:07 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  awake |
So I'm back for those of you still reading this.
As for what is going in my life, well, wrestling, per usual, along with a few other things.
Jordan moved back home. It was sad. I miss her!
I'm trying to get this really good job out in Kalamazoo.
I will soon be speaking out against our current government.
I have gained a bit of weight, tipping the scale at 170 lbs. Watch out, heavy fella over here!
I'm coaching a kids football team.
Back to the government thing... So what they are doing to us is disgusting, and I want to start speaking publicly about it. However, I had a discussion a few months ago with my roommates and a few other people and I wasn't able to answer as many questions as I would of liked. As a result of that, I realized I needed to be more knowledgeable about this subject before I start telling others, so that is what I have been doing as of late. Reading, and watching videos to keep finding out about it. I figure in the coming months I will have enough confidence to be able to answer and/or refute anyone's questions or statements. With that said, I just hope people are willing to listen.
Alrighty, Much love! Adios!
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It's been a rather chunky minute since my last posting, but I guess I don't even log on to this thing very much anymore. My life has changed a lot in the past year or so and I feel like I've lost contact with most of you. I really do hope all is well and I'll post a real update soon!... Hopefully, haha.
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| Date: | 2009-02-14 21:54 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  chipper | | Music: | "House of 1000 Corpses" by Rob Zombie |
So it's been awhile but here's a quick update:
Jordan moved in!
I had a cool ass birthday!
Went and saw Metallica in concert!
More ink! Tattoo total is up to four.
I'm growing my hair out with dreads as my goal.
Lastly, I have an amazing Spring break trip lined up. The Grand Canyon, Los Angeles, San Diego, Las Vegas, Denver, and whatever else comes along the way! It should be an amazing time! Wooooooooooo!
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Schoolio- I actually did alright for my first semester in college. I half assed it most of the time but got credit for all my classes and ended up with a 3.11 GPA, which I'm quite proud of. Not that my GPA is overwhelmingly good or anything, but if you truly knew how little I did to achieve that, then you too would be excited over my recent accomplishment. I'm starting to think I can half-ass my way to a degree, which is scary. haha.
New Roommate- It is official. Zach is moving out and James is moving in. I'm kind of shocked. I like James and get along with him just fine, but I think I'm actually going to miss Zachary, but it's for the best, so good luck to him.
Holidays- Well, I didn't dread them. I usually hate Christmas time, but it wasn't too bad this year. I spent the holiday with Jordan and her family, which was a good time, and then came home to Detroit for New Years. Got to spend a lot of time with my family which was really cool. My family is seriously the most important thing in my life. When I'm with them, I really feel like I can be myself. Not that I'm not normally myself around others, but I'm usually a bit shy in one way or another. So basically if I don't get super hyper or silly all the time around you, then I'm probably not too comfortable in that situation. Anywho, the point is that with them I get to be myself, and my family is a bunch of good hearted people at the end of the day. We will fight and want to kill each other sometimes, but at the end of the day, we would also fight and kill FOR one another, and those are the kinds of people I want in my life and I'm very thankful to have them.
Jordan- Is becoming my hero. She may even be reviving my faith in women, haha. Seriously though, whether or not she realizes it, she has taught me a great deal of things. She is a perfect example of someone who has fought for me, even at times she probably shouldn't have, and just battled to have me in her life. I honestly don't think I'm as strong as her in that sense. It's something I really look up to and admire her for. In my mind, she is now part of my family.
I hope life is treating you all well. Remember that it's never too late to change what you need to change. Much love. Peace.
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I think my mind works in different ways than most. Maybe I'm arrogant for saying that, but I really don't care. It is something I truly believe. I see and look at things completely different than anyone I've ever met. When it comes to analyzing people and situations, I probably do that more so now then ever before. I feel like I live in an entire world by myself because of how I view things... The grass is always greener.
All I seem to want to do is get tattoos and play music. I truly hope I record some stuff soon, not because I desperately seek attention from people (although that would be cool in terms of record folk), but mainly just so I don't forget alot of it. I have too many ideas and lyrics and tempos and melodies to keep up with. Everyday I teach myself something new, I forget something of old. There's just too much music going on in my head.
I decided I'm really going to pursue the music thing further. KVCC offers quite a bit of music classes, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to try to take each and every one of them, and take a longer time to get my degree. If I'm going to be here, I mine as well take what I want. Next semester I am already enrolled in the history of Rock N' Roll and music for the classroom teacher. And next year, I am taking piano class and learning how to play! I have always wanted to learn; It's one of my very favorite instruments. I even almost bought one a few weeks ago, but Jordan wouldn't let me for financial purposes. She is like that. She is very smart and practical. I'm kind of spontaneous (although currently inhibited by school to some degree) and impulsive. I think it's a good balance.
Alrighty, off to my final. Gay! Later bitches!
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I struggled to get comfortable in my ugly blue and puke-stained seat while staring blankly out the window. I was attempting to see what was ahead but could see nothing beyond massive amounts of snow that seemed to create clouds to block my vision. I was just five minutes from home, and the bus hadn't moved for over two hours. This trip was not looking too good from the start of things.
After a horrible 8-hour bus ride that even criminals wouldn't be forced to take because it would be defined as cruel and unusual punishment, I finally arrived in downtown Chicago. There I greeted my girlfriend with a big hug, and a sigh of relief. I had no phone to call her and let her know what happened, so I was thankful and probably even lucky that she waited the extra five hours for me. From there, we took the train back to her place and called it a night shortly thereafter.
Truth be told, I didn't know what to expect from this entire trip. Recently I had found myself with a very negative view on both life and people as a whole, and was seriously questioning my faith in everyone, girlfriend included. I was struggling to find anyone who wasn't out for themselves, and was disgusted that I couldn't. The entire concept had been depressing me for a little over a month, with each week seeming to get just a little worse then the previous one.
Jordan and I were having an okay time. We were getting along, and things seemed to be okay. However, in the back of my mind was the thought of my view of things and how, or when I should say, it would make this trip a regrettable one. However, I was wrong. Way wrong.
Jordan brought me to this place called "Starved Rock", which is a national park in Illinois with canyons, a lake, and all kinds of neat and dandy little trails. It was supposed to be a surprise, but if you know me, you know I have a bad tendency of ruining those. Despite me ruining this surprise though, it was an amazing time. The thing that stands out is the time we spent on "Lovers Leap". It was seriously one of the most memorable moments of my life, and it was one of those things that seriously made me look at things in a positive light and appreciate all the good things and people in my life. I was especially thankful for Jordan at this particular time. We have only been together for about seven months, but in that seven months, I have put her through so much, and for her to still want to be with me, was a true sign. I don't know if it is possible to re-fall in love, but in those moments, looking into her eyes, I can never remember feeling that much love and I swear I fell in love with her all over again. It was truly a moment that I'll always remember and cherish, and I don't care how cheesy (I love cheesy-ness anyway!) "Lovers Leap" sounds, it was seriously an amazing moment that nothing and no one can ever take away.
It came at a time when I really needed it. And in addition to this, my bus trip home was on time. Wooo! I even noticed little things on the bus that made me realize my previous view of the world could of been wrong, like this guy behind me talking to someone he met on the bus and him mentioning about how material stuff doesn't matter, and this really good father taking care of his son who sat next to me.
There are still good people out there, and I have one amazing trip, even with its horrific start, to thank for showing me that and helping revive my faith in man.
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I'm feeling real bitter as of late. I'm having a hard time finding anyone sincere, and those in my life that claim to be, I often doubt. Maybe I'm just like this at this time of year. The holiday season does get me depressed but I really seem to not want anyone close to me right now. I mean, I'd love for someone to truly know me, but when you already view everyone as shady or fake, you don't want them getting close; You'd be a fool if you did.
Maybe it's not just the season. I don't know if I'm this bad usually, but I do have a bit of anger towards people in general all the time. It usually isn't personal, so I don't hold it against them, but as a whole, I interpret this entire world as self-oriented. I say self-oriented because it doesn't necessarily imply that you only do things for yourself, but instead offers the idea that the reasons we do things are for ourselves. For example, if I help a stranger push his car to the nearest gas station (which I've done plenty of times which is why I'm using this example), did I do a selfless act ?... The answer is both yes and no. The action of actually doing that were to help someone else, thus making it a selfless act. The motive for helping someone was selfish rather than selfless though because I did it to get that feeling that I did something to help someone else. So in essence, it's an act of both. Everything act we do, there is a reason for. Everything we say in body language, verbal communication and written communication, there is a reason for. Literally EVERYTHING there is a reason for! And in my current understanding of the world, whether or not the act or statements we say or do are selfish or not, the motive always is.
That is why I read into what people do and say. There is always a reason for it. People say and do the things we do, for ourselves and to gain physically, emotionally, mentally, metaphysically, or whatever it may be. However, sometimes we do things for the opposite effect, to hurt ourselves physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. But the motive is still there, and the motive is still the same: self-oriented.
While reading into things does have it's advantages, trust me, it does more bad then good. I am an example of that...
Now try to figure out my self-oriented motive in posting this ? Because you can rest assure there is one; There always is.
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I know these are usually pretty obvious. In fact, I intend for them to be usually. Sometimes you may not like what I have to say, but you can rest assure I will give you the truth... Lets start shall we.
1. I'm an asshole. I was so young and stupid and I wish I could go back and do things differently or just know what I know now. I can't change what's been done, but I have matured enough to realize my mistakes and learn from them...And change.
2. I miss the old you. I really don't care for hanging with you anymore. You're way too cynical and almost mean for my liking. You were so cool the way you used to be.
3. Me being nice to you bit me in the ass. I should of been the old meaner Chris and maybe my kindness wouldn't of been abused. I will never speak to you again though. And I know that it makes it easier for you... and thats okay.
4. I worry about your well being. You're very unique and I have much love for you, but I often worry about your well being.
5. I wish you didn't try to be me sometimes. Earlier this year was a reality check for me. I want you to be your own person.
6. I'm worried everyday that I will crush you. I don't want you to hurt. You are truly a good person, and sometimes I push away from you because I think I may just want to get you away from me. You tend to not let me though, and for that, these words cannot ever be enough.
7. Live a life away fro your girlfriend yo. You're way too caught up in that to realize you're missing out on life.
8. What happened to you sucks. You are in an unfair situation that you cannot escape, but if you ever need me, I'd be there in a heartbeat.
9. I miss you man. Like I often feel as if I'm missing out in the friends section of my life, and I guess I just got used to you and I always hanging out.
10. We too, have had our share of ups and downs. I really wish I would of shown better appreciation of things that I care about back when, but you cannot change the past and only look forward to the future.
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This is a message I just got from my mom and I decided I wanted to share it because it made my night...
hi im thinking about you! hows everything going? dad and i are fine were going to the diabetes classes but we know everything their trying to teach us, but we have to go this saturday too(last class)dad found out he has 2 dislocated disc 1 in his neck and 1 in his lower back he has to go to theapy(bad spelling)what a nice surprise you and jordan showing up on holloween, i love surprises like that, you look so good(happy)i really like jordan, she brings out the best in you. were very proud of you, even donald jr said he was proud of you. that was so nice of you to come back to see your brothers, you know they really do love you. i've been emailing jordan all my emails she emailed me and told me im silly, i hope you get a kick out of my emails i really do love you alot and miss you hole bunches. i'll talk to you soon, or call, or email me i love to hear from you. love mom and dad
I wish I would of known what I know now a few years ago. Instead, I was so stuck up on what I didn't have and only thinking of myself, that I didn't take time to really acknowledge and appreciate the things and people in my life. Let this stand as a notice to everyone. Love and appreciate everyone who is there for you. Tomorrow is not promised, and today is only a day away from tomorrow.
That message is what I needed to get my mind back on track. Thank you mom. I love you.
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| Date: | 2008-11-12 22:10 |
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| Security: | Public |
Its as if life is giving me two choices, and yet I still don't pick either one.
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| Date: | 2008-11-09 18:13 |
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| Security: | Public |
I am good. I am evil.
I live a life as both.
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| Date: | 2008-10-27 18:53 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  confused | | Music: | "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica |
"True knowledge comes only when we can admit we know nothing."
A lot has been going on in my little life lately. I don't care to elaborate on it as of now, but I have a lot going on. On a good and slightly random note though, the guy that runs the soccer league that I coached for actually thought I was the best coach of all the teams and has actually been recommending me for other coaching positions. That was a nice compliment. Wooooo!
Me as a coach though ? Really ? How weird ! Never saw that one coming.
Back to important stuff...
My life is an enigma at the current moment. However, while the unknown can be scary for some, I've always liked not knowing what was coming next; even though this could end up extremely bad (or good, ya never know), its a bit of a thrill to be in a position where you have no idea what you're next move is. Hmmm... I hope that doesn't make me some like a bad guy for liking that I'm in the weird stage I'm in and I really hope that it doesn't hurt anyone's feelings by me saying that.
Well that is all. I might care to explain more some other time. We shall have to wait and see. Anyways, as always, much fucking love!
Morale of my lesson: Life is hard.
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| Date: | 2008-10-12 17:10 |
| Subject: | Facts of Life |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  blah | | Music: | "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John |
I really don't feel like writing a huge entry to tell you folks what happening in my life, so I'll just make a list...
I have been sick so much lately. Eph Illness!
I hate wrestling but love it at the same time ?
I'm kind of lazy when it comes to school.
I'm planning on getting another neck tattoo.
I want to record a few songs.
Jordan and I have been going through some rough patches but we're working through them. She is a very good person to have in my life.
I miss my family and my dogs.
I enjoy coaching and my team is sweet. We won our first game 14-0 and we just played the best team and beat them 7-0. Wooo!
I've been somewhat depressed lately and am losing my faith in mankind.
I miss my friends, especially Turk and A-town, but everyone else too.
I'm in the worst physical shape of my life. (Honestly, I'm probably being too critical of myself)
Life isn't fun when it's planned.
I want adventure.
I hate routine.
I miss old times!!!
That's basically it in a nutshell. I just need to look at things more positively. I'll be alright. I'm a tough kid. Anywho, I wish I knew how all of you were doing. I love you all and hope everything is going well.
As always, much love!
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| Date: | 2008-10-05 17:58 |
| Subject: | What ? |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | enthralled |
I love Jordan. That is all.
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| Date: | 2008-09-27 00:54 |
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| Security: | Public |
I hate getting close to anyone. Friends, family, etc...
I like being alone. I always have.
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| Date: | 2008-09-24 15:23 |
| Subject: | Another job ? |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | cheerful | | Music: | "Play That Funky Music" by Wild Cherry |
Well it's not offical yet, but I may be getting a part time job for the next month or so as the coach of a little kids soccer team.
Wooo!
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| Date: | 2008-09-23 02:31 |
| Subject: | Wow... |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | thankful |
Not that it's a huge deal or anything, but I just typed in "Chris Hybrid" and "Kid Hybrid" on google and I was the first thing that came up on the search and there was even a few photos of me on the first page when I searched under images as well.
It's kind of weird to actually think about how well-known I am, or a character I play is rather. It really is quite surreal. I'm in magazines you can buy at CVS right now every single month. I'm on DVDs that people can buy in countries I've never even been to. I don't know. I've even been recognized on the street a few times. It's really quite odd, and sometimes I overlook it all; I guess I really don't take it in enough that thousands of people know me all over the world, and I really should acknowledge that what I get to do is such an honor. To be able to do what I do, whether I make tons of money or not and have to put up with all kinds of shit as a result of, is nothing short of a dream come true.
Interesting and fun fact: I searched "Chris McGinnis" and couldn't find a damn thing about me. How's that for irony ?
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| Date: | 2008-09-19 16:57 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
I'm in an upset mood.
Every is shallow. Everyone is a liar. Is no one sincere in this world ?
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So I have been meaning to write a really good entry for awhile. I haven't been given a good opportunity untill now to do so, and now that I have the chance, I don't even know what to write about, haha.
Let's see. School is cool. I'm proud of myself for picking up on the math material so quickly. It was the one subject that worried me, but fear not my friends, for I have jumped from junior high math to college level in a mere week. Bahahahha... That was my evil laugh by the way.
Moving on... I enjoy my job! I hate actually going, and the transportation thing is a hassle, but other than that, it's really cool getting to work with kids. I feel like Bill Cosby each day; Kids really do in fact, say the darndest things. I have so many stories to tell, but I'll save those little laughs 'till I see your butts in person.
My family!!! This is something I've been meaning to write about. My family has emerged as one of the most important things in my life. It's weird. I never thought I'd say that, and maybe it was because I always thought I wasn't treated fair and held some bitterness against them (I say maybe as if I don't know this is a fact, but whatever, haha). I can remember never liking or fitting in or even getting along with my family, and I would just lay around thinking about how as soon as I got the chance to get away from them and not speak to them, I would. Well, in the past few months, my entire opinion has changed. Yes, I have been treated unfair, and yes, I've been in bigger fights and brawls with them then in any of the recent Wrestlemania's combined (and high five for the wrestling reference), but at the end of the day, the old saying is true... "Blood is thicker than water". My family will always be there for me. And I have taken the choice to always be there for them as well. They mean a great deal to me, and when everyone else in life comes and goes, they will be the ones that will be there at the end of the day. I really do love them alot!
Anywho, I think this is good for now... Wait for it... Here comes my favorite line to end things with...
Much love to you all!
Too much buildup eh ? haha. Oh well. Much love to you all anyways and take care of yourselves! Woooooo!
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